Our Stories
Tell Me Your Story, Please
I have called Strathmore home for the last 25 years. I lost my Mom, Diane at the young age of 69. She had been struggling with end stage kidney failure for quite some time. When she was discharged from the hospital in Calgary, my Dad and I decided to take her home and care of her for as long as we were able to. It helped that we both have nursing backgrounds. We could not have kept her home for over a month without the care and guidance from Strathmore’s Palliative Home Care and their team. Our nurse Nicole, was truly a Godsend and she brought with her a wealth of knowledge. She allowed us, with the guidance of my Mom’s doctor, to administer her routine and pain meds as needed. Also available to us was in home support from the Wheatland & Area Hospice Society. Having volunteered with this society since it started, I have seen multiple families benefit in so many ways. The ways they supported me and my family was a blessing. Knowing we weren’t alone in my Mom’s end of life journey brought us much comfort during and after she passed. We are so very thankful and proud to call Strathmore our home and all that it offers.
Jenny’s Story
George and Marianne’s Story
Please support fundraising for a hospice in Strathmore.
Several years ago my husband spent his las two months of life in the Strathmore Hospital. He was admitted as palliative and was unable to walk on his own. Within a short time he could move only if two people held him up. During his last weeks his movements consisted of raising his body only with the help of the hospital bed mechanism. His extreme pain was from the cancer pressing on his spinal cord, disintegrating his vertebrae, and growing into his bladder.
At the time George was in the hospital, there were seven other patients considered palliative, and there were many people needing help in the acute care ward. Needless to say, the nurses were very busy and struggled to give him his pain medication on time. Most of the time I slept overnight beside George’s bed on a chair that flattened. Being able to reach his water was a problem if someone was not there because of his very limited movements.
The regular hospital noises made George’s life more difficult. The atmosphere was a busy world and often I wished for him to be in a peaceful place with personnel that were trained in helping those in the last stages of life. George’s last journey was a nightmare for many reasons but I know that a hospice setting would have made a positive difference.
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Tess’s Story
My mom passed away on June 2nd, 2020. After nine years of fighting, she lost her battle with cancer. To say this past year has been hard would be an understatement.
At times, I have felt so alone. Because, I now have the master bedroom, my mom’s room. I wake up every morning in her massive king bed, I look to the side where she should be and I wish with all my heart that she was still here. But I have my brother, Sean, who is my other half. We have grown so much closer recently. My dad died from lung cancer when I was nine. My brother and I don’t have our parents anymore.
I have never asked why. Why couldn’t I have more time with my dad? Why did my mom get diagnosed two years later? Why, after so many years of fighting did she die too?
“I had a feeling so peculiar that this pain would be for evermore” are lyrics from Taylor Swift’s album Evermore. I relate to these lyrics. I did feel this pain would last forever. It was hard to imagine a time down the road when I won’t feel sad or alone.
My parents had all the answers for me and were always there to help me. I feel weird when I’m talking with people who still have their parents (so, mostly everyone I know) because they can still talk to their parents and ask for advice, or run errands together, go to movies, or do any number of normal day-to-day things together.
Grief is hard to understand. It is something specific to each individual. It can make you feel you are drowning and are trying to come up for air. But whatever you do to stop and recover, the grief keeps coming to pull you under the current in unexpected ways. My friend Olivia and I were at Starbucks, waiting for our drinks. The barista called out Teresa, my mom’s name. (I’m Tessa!). I have never been called that before, it felt strange.
My favourite singer has always been Taylor Swift. Every obstacle I’ve faced in life, Taylor’s music has always been there for me. Two months after my mom’s passing, Taylor surprise released a brand-new album. Getting that album so soon after her death felt like a gift. But the first person I wanted to tell was my mom. Grief sucks!
My brother and I describe our lives as a deck of cards. This is the hand we’ve been dealt. We must figure it out. We are not alone, and I am so grateful for family around me when I can’t see light at the end of this tunnel. Please know that you are not alone, no one is ever alone.
One of Taylor Swift’s songs concludes, “I had a feeling so peculiar this pain wouldn’t be forevermore”. There are days where grief is still more noticeable than others but I know it won’t last forever. There will always be bumps in the road, the point isn’t to avoid them all.
The point is to keep driving.
Doris’s Story
We were so fortunate to have had the privilege of meeting Nola Schaffer, a bedside respite volunteer with the Wheatland Hospice Society.
Willard greatly enjoyed her visits every Tuesday and Thursday throughout his time in Hospice. Her constant loyalty throughout Christmas Day, New Year's Day and many other special days, never faltered regardless of the weather. Their connection provided me with a great comfort and allowed me to take care of errands and have some personal time.
Nola had a wonderful way of stimulating conversation and allowing Willard to reminisce about his upbringing, the good old days, and share stories about his family. Her enjoyment of games paired perfectly with Willard's competitive nature when it came to crib. She was the perfect fit.
Special days were acknowledged and made possible by Nola, purchasing cards and bouquets of flowers, for Willard to gift me on Valentine's Day and Mother's Day. This kindness allowed Willard to maintain a sense of normalcy throughout this time.
I was presented with a lovely set of Journals that captured every visit Nola and Willard shared throughout his eight month journey with Hospice. This is a precious gift I will treasure forever.
My family and I are forever grateful for the support and level of service that Wheatland Hospice Society provided us with. - Doris Skibsted
Nola’s Story
When a friend asked Nola Schaffer if she’d like to be part of the Wheatland and Area Hospice Society’s Bedside Respite volunteer program to assist palliative care patients and their families, she didn’t have to think twice.
“I feel it is a true blessing to be part of someone else’s book of life,” she said. “It’s a great honour and privilege to be allowed to be part of someone else’s life and if you can help make them or their family more comfortable, or ease their burden at the end of life then I’m grateful.”
When her own mom passed away 20 months ago, Schaffer recognized her family was in the fortunate situation of being large enough, willing and able to take turns sitting with their mom.
“Many palliative patients don’t have family or friends nearby to provide that kind of care. Or there are only a few and it can be really hard to be with your loved one in the hospital or home and still deal with the rest of life like job, family and the other demands,” said Schaffer.
The Wheatland and Area Hospice Society’s volunteers are available to sit with patients at home or hospital in order to give family members a break to take care of errands or just get some much-needed sleep.
“We’re not there to take the place of family, but to try and help out the patient and their family as we are able,” she said.
Volunteers let the Hospice Society know when they are available. When a family requests help from the Society they are given background information on those volunteers available so they can try to find a good fit for the patient and situation.
“It’s all about what the patient and family need,” said Schaffer.
To prepare for this volunteer position, Shaffer took the Bedside Respite and the No One Dies Alone programs offered by the Hospice Society. While she noted her background in medical care, serving as a First Responder in her community of Hussar, is a bonus that it isn’t necessary for this volunteer palliative care work.
“Providing this kind of care for palliative patients and helping their families comes more from a heart willing to help someone out than specific training” she said.
“I’m glad that word of this program is getting out,” Schaffer said, “and I hope that those who need it will take advantage of it.” - Bradley Everett
Caitlyn’s Story
The death of Caitlyn Morenez’s father when she was 10 years old put her on the course for her life’s work as a hospice nurse and a volunteer with the Wheatland and Area Hospice Society.
Morenez’s first-hand experience of what her family and father went through when he died at the Foothills hospital, as well her time working the same palliative care unit there as a student, has given her an appreciation for the importance of that type of care.
But working at the Rosedale Hospice and Rotary Flames Home in Calgary as a health care aide and now as Registered Nurse following her graduation from Mount Royal University in December, has shown her the importance of hospice care for both patients and families.
“It’s not that hospice care is better than palliative care,” she said “it’s just different—and depending on the circumstances a hospice can provide greater benefits for the patients and families as they deal with the various physical, emotional and spiritual issues surrounding death.”
“My dad spent the last four months of his life in the Foothills, and it was hard on him, my family and me, as we tried to be with him as much as possible, even sleeping in a recliner in his room at night,” said Morenez.
“We were offered the option of hospice but decided to stay at the hospital because it was what we knew best. Looking back I wish we had taken the offer,” she said.
“The big difference between palliative and hospice care is how each answers questions of patients and family,” said Morenez.
“In palliative, the initial answer is ‘we’ll see’ because being in a hospital various logistics have to be figured out before answering. Whereas in hospice we just say ‘yes’, then try and figure out how we’re going to do it,” she said.
This is part of hospice care’s goal of making everyone, patient and family as comfortable as possible and doing all they can to accommodate whatever specific needs they may have (e.g. visitors, family sleeping over, pets, special food etc.)—including the need to move through this experience at their own pace.
Recalling her own experience, Morenez said there were instances where her family had to conform to the schedule of the hospital staff which at times meant having difficult conversations concerning her father’s care that they were not prepared for—which just made a tough situation even more difficult.
“Whereas in hospice, there aren’t the same sort of time constraints, families can have those hard conversations when they are ready as well as having more resources on hand to help them prepare,” she said.
This gift of time also extends to the staff. Since they aren’t subject to the same institutional demands as a hospital, doctors and nurses aren’t as rushed and can spend time talking with and listening to patients and their families.
Symptom management is also a big difference. So for example, in palliative care if a patient with cancer comes down with a urinary tract infection they will be given antibiotics to treat it, while a hospice patient in the same situation would receive antibiotics only if it helped make them more comfortable. In hospice the primary goal is the patient’s comfort.
Before she went to her initial interview at Rosedale, Morenez balked. She thought it would be dark, dreary and sad, and wasn’t sure she was up for that. But that’s not what she found, which is why she continues to work there and is helping the Wheatland and Area Hospice Society working to get hospice care in our rural area—because hospice care is about providing for the life of patients and their families. - Bradley Everett